Chat with a Grammarian

The Language Place‘s Sam used FaceTime to chat to Tom, a grammarian of many years’ standing.  

Selections from the interview:

SAM          So, Tom, although I work for a language site, I’ve never actually met a grammarian before.  What’s it like to be one?

TOM           Sorry, Sam, but I don’t know what it’s like not to be a grammarian, so I’m not sure I can give you a helpful answer!

SAM           Well, do you get a lot of questions about grammar from your family and friends?

TOM          Not really.  I’m lucky because I was established in business before I turned to grammar full-time, so everyone just knew me as Tom, the chap who liked crosswords and puzzles.   I didn’t tell people about what I was working on behind the scenes and it wasn’t until I gave up the business role and started working on grammar full-time that anyone – apart from close family – really knew what was going on.  To them I’m just Tom.

SAM          What about your children?  What do they think?

TOM          Again, when they were very young they had no idea.  All they did know was that I was very fussy about the way they spoke – and about their schoolwork.  The kids were teenagers when they found out about my ‘hobby’ and  they used to tease me about being such a nerd.  I think they found it rather embarrassing, but I was useful when they needed something proofread!  Now though, I think they’re quite proud – not that they’d ever admit it.   These days they seem interested and they ask questions.

SAM          And your wife?

TOM          Not a problem.  She was educated in the Netherlands and studied several languages – and their grammar – at school.  She understands why grammar is important and she supports what I do.

Passions & Patterns

SAM          How did you become interested in grammar?   I mean, it’s not a very popular hobby, is it?

TOM          For me it’s more of a passion than a hobby.   I like things to be precise.  I studied the Classics at school as well as a couple of modern European languages.  I’ve always been a Scrabble addict and would rather do crosswords and puzzles than watch a film.   At school I also liked Maths.   I think I just have the type of mind which is intrigued by patterns, by precision and by the relationships between things.   I also liked being able to get full marks on the grammar section of the exam – and make up for the fact that I tended to write drivel on some of the literature which I hadn’t found the time to read… 

SAM          Do you read a lot now?

TOM          Yes, but only what takes my fancy.   I really like poetry but I won’t read poorly written prose and some of the websites drive me batty.  The standard of written expression is so poor that I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

SAM          Do you complain to the websites?

TOM          No, never.   If they’re not interested enough either to learn to write properly or pay someone who can, then I’m not interested in supporting them.  And as for that bloody apostrophe, they sprinkle it around as though it were a decoration on a cake.  No idea whatsoever! 

SAM          Are you always itching to correct people’s mistakes?

TOM          That depends on who they are.   I’ve become very disciplined over the years.   I wouldn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so, if they’re family or friends, I let it all slide by.  I’ve practised over the years and I simply don’t take any notice.  If, however, a television presenter, for instance, mangles the language, I cringe because he or she is supposed to be a professional communicator.   If it’s a presenter I don’t like, I must admit to being merciless – but only in the privacy of my own home.   I never follow it up.  At least it’s good for a laugh, I suppose.

An Unusual Career Path

SAM          Let’s go back to your interest in grammar.   How did you actually get to become a grammarian?

TOM          I love language – everything about it.  And all languages.   But I didn’t set out to be a grammarian.  It’s just something I slipped into.   I started conventionally enough by studying languages and economics – and made a good living in the financial sector.   At the same time, though, I was forever researching and writing about language, then I published a couple of things, built a reputation – and it all grew from there.   Eventually I gave up the business side and focused on the grammar.   I figured I’d earnt it!

SAM          Would you recommend being a grammarian as a career?

TOM          Definitely not!   First of all, there’s no financial security in anything like this.   If I’d voiced an interest as a student, I think my parents and my teachers would have had a group fit.   I’m just lucky that I was able to indulge my passion alongside another career.  You have to be really passionate about grammar – and be in a financial position which allows you to indulge your passion.  The idea of being a grammarian these days is even riskier than it was when was young.  

SAM          Why?

TOM          Because no one cares any more.   Or hardly anyone.   Standards are not high and the attitude is ‘they’ll know what I mean’.   That’s not good enough.   We should respect ourselves and our language and take the trouble to get it right.   On a more practical level, there’s not exactly a career pathway to becoming a grammarian.   You can always work for the big language publishing houses, I suppose but, for someone like me who likes to do his own thing, that’s not a very attractive option.

Do we need to learn grammar?

SAM          I wasn’t taught grammar at school.   I had mostly young teachers who said we didn’t need to worry about grammar because as native speakers we pick it up as we go along.  Is that right?   I’m nervous about asking you how I’m doing…

TOM          You’re doing just fine, but that’s not the point really.   The idea is to get it right  – and know why it’s right – and because it’s worthwhile.  After all, to communicate effectively we need to use the language precisely.  Another thing:  how would you help someone learning English.  For instance, can you explain the difference between I ate and I have eaten?   Please don’t answer that one… 

SAM          Um, no…    Who makes up the rules anyway?

TOM          Therein lies another problem.  Unlike most of the other languages of Europe, English has no academy or governing body to determine what is and isn’t correct.   If the various authorities can’t agree, what hope is there for consistency across the anglophone world?

SAM          Are any of your friends grammarians?

TOM          No, but some of them are very accomplished translators and that involves knowing a great deal about grammar.  When we catch up we talk language.

A Precise Mind

SAM          Do you have interests other than language, Tom?

TOM          Of course.   Apart from Scrabble, jigsaws and crossword puzzles, I’m a computer freak.  I used to spend a lot of time pulling computers apart and putting them back together again.  These days I’m more interested in checking out the latest gadgets and how they all work.   I used to play the violin but the dog howled the whole time so I had to give up.   I still play chess with my son – but I can’t beat him.   I also do a bit of hiking – nothing too strenuous.   That’s about it.  Nothing out of the ordinary.

SAM          Nothing out of the ordinary:  I don’t think that’s quite true.   On that note, Tom, let me thank you for chatting to me today.   I’ve enjoyed our conversation and feel inspired to find out the difference between I ate and I have eaten.  Perhaps I’ll make grammarian yet….

TOM          My pleasure, Sam.  Thank-you.